Tuesday, December 8, 2009

move over Ina Garten...

No seriously move over, we both can't fit in this kitchen. Jack slept in until 6:45 this morning which a very nice thing to do, except it allowed me to go into a deeper sleep than I've been since I was 15 and avoiding school on a winter morning. I was in the middle of a dream that I was a christmas ornament and there was a spider crawling on me but I couldn't get it off because HELLO I was a glass ornament, when Jack came running into the room shouting "Mommy get UP! I'm ready to go downstairs and get some cocooooooooo!" Then he got the maglite Nipper keeps next to the bed and started shining it in my face repeating "get up, get up, Mommy, get up!" How did I give birth to a tiny drill sergeant?

Once I had picked up the 32,000 pieces I had shattered into, I took the kid downstairs and made his dang blast cocoa. I left him playing with one of his garbage trucks and went back into the kitchen to make my coffee. I'm on the decaf, but can't break the habit of the morning latte. I opened the fridge, and pulled out what I could tell was a carton with about three drops of soy milk left in it. Damn you me! What kind of craven person puts an empty carton of milk back?

Hiding behind my mostly empty soy milk was a small carton of organic egg nog my mom bought at thanksgiving. Maybe... Nah. Ok, let's do this thing. Egg nog latte!!! It was unbelievably good, and I'm trying to forget that the little number 40, as in 40 grams of fat per tiny little serving.

I have a print audition for a "average woman who has lost her sexual feelings" It's for a pharmaceutical of some sort. And this is what I feel like after my latte, so I should be good...


  1. Is he holding someone's underwear?

  2. Yes. Whenever I gain weight women throw their bras at me like I'm Elvis.

  3. Jack's grandpa has his cocoa every evening.