Friday, June 18, 2010

Will work for soy lattes

Jack's birthday is next week, but we're having a party Sunday. I'm making an R2D2 cake. Oh and star wars cookies. Remember a few months ago, when I was FREAKING out about Jack playing pretend "shooting thing"? I have since gone to the dark side. Now everything is a "shooting thing" and I play along as long as he gives whoever he "shoots" a kiss after they fall to the ground. Kisses make everything better. I baked all day today, while trying (and failing) to get the music rights to a song we want to use in the pilot we are submitting to the NYTVF. But I guess that's another random skill I now have. Here's what my resume would look like if I had to get a job tomorrow. Or maybe just a random list of stuff I can do. Resume writing is not one of my skillz...

I'd attach this picture because "Yes I AM a Rocket Scientist"
Sadie got me this for my office because she loves me, and she's a good friend, and it's perfect. 

Sells stuff on tv
How to have snarky thoughts
Grows own corn and blueberries
Funny dancing
Good oral hygiene
Total recall on most conversations I had before 1992
No recollection of anything that has been said by me, to me, or around me for last 3 years (not really a skill, unless someone needed an amnesiac to hang around with. But who needs that? Not Nipper Knapp, that's who.
Bakes fancy cakes that usually hold together through the party
How to take a picture
Knows that you have to get both performance, and publishing rights on songs you want to use in your tv show or movie, and where to find the people who hold those rights
Takes rejection like a champ, except when it hurts my feelings, and then I cry, a little or a lot
How to pick a husband
How to explain a crazy dream in detail to someone who could care less. (it's like I was in high school, but it wasn't high school, and you were there, but you were really Beyonce, but I knew it was really you, and I couldn't push any of the buttons on my camera, and then we were all on the roof for no reason, and Jenny who was actually Edward James Olmos wanted me to open a present, but I was afraid of the present, even though I knew it was my favorite kind of socks)
Makes soy lattes
Paying bills (usually on time)
Eats as much as a man, but doesn't brag about it, because knows how to be a lady
How to make a crying kid forget what they were crying about and laugh
How to make an ass of myself (both with, and without intention, although more skilled at the latter)
How to make up lyrics to songs that other people wrote

I wonder if there is an employer out there looking for my particular skill set. 

1 comment:

  1. You are not the only one with the crazy resume;). Feels like we are kindred spirits because our resumes are very similar except substitute selling on tv and editing with database stuff;). We will soon be the most sought after commodity, I am sure;).