Today at the park, Jack ran into Bob, of Smacksy fame. Bob had two light sabers with him, and was kind enough to share one with Jack, who is just starting to understand that not all weapons are shooting things, and some weapons are lasers, or bursts of pure energy, or whatever a light saber is. Uhm, yeah, he's learning about weapons. See, I told you we were teaching him important stuff. Nipper and I have been showing Jack parts of the original Star Wars trilogy. You know the one's from the 70's and 80's? I don't know about this whole new naming system. I find it very confusing. Although Nipper tried to convince me the other day that the first Star Wars was ALWAYS called "Episode IV A New Hope". But I mean, no one CALLED IT that. Gah!
I'm starting to think I might be getting old. Last week, a woman in front of me at the grocery store didn't have her own, bags, and when the girl asked her if plastic was ok, she said "yes", and it made me want to scream "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? DO YOU LIVE ON THIS PLANET WITH THE REST OF US, OR ARE YOU JUST VISITING?!" Then, twice this week, I got REALLY irritated at the girl who was bagging groceries at Ralphs. I mean two things per bag is not really efficient, or appropriate, or sane. Have some pride in your work young lady! It takes all of my willpower to not elbow her out of the way and shout "LET ME SHOW YOU HOW IT'S DONE". Then sometimes at Trader Joes when I'm bagging own groceries, I half expect the cashier to say "Wow, lady, where did you get those bagging skills?! Guys, look she's SO efficient!" I'm a grumpy old man.
When Nipper reads this, he's going to roll his eyes, and curse the day he married me. Mrs Nipper Knapp is an aging efficiency expert who once told Nipper "my synapses just fire faster than yours." It's a testament to his love and patience that we are still husband and wife. Sometimes if he gets in the "wrong" lane while driving, I have to hold my breath, and close my eyes, so I don't sigh loudly, reminding him that he did in fact marry a monster.
Ok, back to Bob. His brilliant mother shared this story this week. Bob is one year older than Jack. I have so much to look forward to. Oh AND Jack told me he wants a pink R2D2 cake for his birthday. Fan-tastic.