Sunday, March 14, 2010

Give me Liberty or give me DEATH!

That reminds me of Eddie Izzards bit about "Cake or Death". Check it out. It's funny, and the rest of this post isn't, so laugh now, because I'm about to steal your soul... just kidding. Not really...

Ok, but sadly that has nothing to do with the last few days which have been scarier than Mr. Toads Wild Ride. As some of you know I threw my back out last week. It was awful, and I feel pretty crummy still. Although much better than Tuesday when moving one millimeter caused me to cry buckets of salty tears.  The whole thing has been a wake up call for me in a sense. I have the good fortune of an efficient metabolism and an almost adolescent sense of immortality. So I've survived thus far, chugging soy lattes, while eating handfuls of dark chocolate m&ms, as dessert for the twice  weekly(sometimes more) pizza, or on most days, in&out burgers that have become the main stays of my diet.

My diet in the last few years, has deteriorated to the point where, I no longer recognize meals as something I want, but rather a method of supplying calories in a hurry. I used to LOVE food. I still love food. I MISS food. I used to eat things like cucumbers, and you know lettuce. I ate sushi, and tons of fruit. I'm not blaming Nipper Knapp, because it takes two, and god knows I loves me some pizza, but I had never had an in&out burger before I met him. In fairness, I was eating $20 chopped broccoli green apple and blackened chicken salads from café midi every day when I met him, so that wasn't really a great plan either. But in the last few years, I've found less and less time to eat the foods I like. I've also made lots and lots of excuses for why I can't/won't/don't work out. "I don't need to", "I don't want to", "you can't make me"...

SO this is the second time in the last year my back has seized up like this. My md gave me flexeril and 800mg advil. The drugs made me sleep but did not ease the pain at all. After 5 days of suffering I went to my acupuncturist. She is a miracle worker! She advised me to take magnesium for my muscles, and you know, exercise, and stop stressing. Genius. I felt better immediately after seeing her. I'm still super stiff, I'm walking like the hobbit, but I can walk. So...

you can't hide from me pussycat...

You know you can't tell me anything. I can't even tell me anything. I try sometimes, but then I'm all "shut up! You're not the boss of me!" But I'm going to pretend like this is some kind of incentive program. Like, you eat a salad, and you get to wear pants without shame. You get up earlier, and make oatmeal, you don't have a heart attack at 50. You go to the gym, you get to think about how you aren't going to be crawling the bathroom at the age of 35 because your core muscles are weak, and your blood is made up of 2 parts starbucks, 2 parts Chanel No5. Who do I think I am?!

I would also like say that Nipper did something for me that is in my opinion the sexiest thing he's ever done in nearly 6 years of marriage. NO! Not THAT! Ladies! What kind of blog do you think this is? He saw that I was unable to make my morning latte of Francis, dear Francis. This thing has all kinds of switches, and levers, and unexplained knobs. It's not like an American machine with a little coffee cup icon and a little steam icon, so that you can send your kid in there to make it. It's Italian. It's temperamental. It's a mystery! But Nipper Knapp figured it out. He did it without the little online tutorial, which I had to watch like seven times before I made my first cup. He made my latte every morning this week, and brought it to me on the couch. Swoon.

For this I will forgive him for getting better looking than me every day, and for introducing me to double double animal style. Look it up you dirty birds...

Oh, wait, I never got to the Liberty part of this post! I'll be back tomorrow with a full accounting of my adventures at EVERY Target in La Quinta, Palm Springs, and Palm Desert on the hunt for Liberty of London stuff. Let's just say it involved, late night reconnaissance, a walker, and an escape vehicle. Just kidding. Not really.  Ok here's one little sneak peak from ONE of the Target's:


  1. I can't believe I was too lazy to go to a Target yesterday. All the design bloggers have posted their loot. I only hope Tar-jay decides to restock.

  2. Funny, I was revisiting the Eddie clips about a week or so ago.

    A friend does marketing for Target, and as the story goes, he and two others were coming out of church a while back and they asked "what are you doing now?" He replied "you're coming with me to Target".
    "But we have to go and..."
    "NO! You're coming with me! I have to show you something."
    To which he introduced them to Liberty of London.

  3. holy crap, the liberty of london stuff is absolutely delectable. thank goodness i am banned from shopping, because otherwise i would be totally broke and the sheer quantity of loveliness i would have to buy would force the mister and i to move into the lobby of our condo.

  4. Thank God but CURSES that they don't have Target in France because I am already broke but DAMN it's pretty.

    Same goes for In N Out and double double animal style.

    2 parts starbucks, 2 parts Chanel No5 - you really ARE my people. Come back to Paris. We (royal) misses the you, hobbit or not.