Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Free at last! Free at last! Thank god almighty I'm...

Oh. Excuse me. How embarrassing. I guess it wasn't THAT good. It's not like my people have been waiting hundreds of years to be un-bonded from the shackles of overpriced imported chintz. But this Liberty of London match up with Target was GOOD. So good that it propelled me out to La Quinta where my mother is spending the winter, in the hopes of actually finding things still on shelves at 8am. LA women are expert shoppers, and unless you sleep outside in your own Kitson pup tent the night before, you're not getting anything at events like this. They are as a rule, a mob scene. 

Jack still in his jammies on our way into the first Target of the day

So in my weakened state, unable to stand up straight, barely able to sit, I drove two hours with Jack in tow to La Quinta. We arrived before bedtime. So Jack played and we had a little dinner. We had a leisurely bath, and then my mom said "do you think we should run over to Target tonight after Jack goes to bed to see if any of it is out yet?" We both agreed that there was no way those Target workers were going to stock those shelves AFTER closing. They'd want to get it done so they could get out of there fast right? We had faith that they'd want to get a head start on tomorrow's work today. Oh Mrs Nipper Knapp, what a silly girl. Not only was there no sign of the line, when my mother asked (I begged her not to) a teenage employee if it was out, he stared at her blankly, said "uh", as I was cursing her shouting "LEAVE HIM, HE KNOWS NOTHING!!!!, and that was it. He was never able to muster more than that. Not one more syllable. 

Ok, so tail between our legs we went home. Rested up. Morning was going to come early. After dozens of LA sample sale experiences I demanded that we be Target at 8 sharp. My mom laughed that we'd be the only people there. She was right. Bright sunny morning, and there were practically tumbleweeds rolling across the parking lot as they unlocked the doors. Not only were we the first people there, we were the first people to inform them that they were supposed to be launching a GIANT promotion today. Yup, not a thing was out. Turns out the manager had the dates mixed up. Even though they were clearly marked on the boxes. Oh yeah, that's right, I was there for the unpacking of the boxes. I even unpacked a few, but more on that later .

While we were there, they got some of the the clothes out. They were nice enough to let me sort through the rolling racks. I piled my cart high, and got Jack a few toys to mess around with and headed for the dressing room. Merde. It's all really cute. Dresses, tops, bathing suits! My mom even got a few things. Here's what I came away from at Target numero uno:

I was bummed that the dresses were polyester not cotton, but they actually hang really nicely!

Hello business casual audition shirt!

The swimsuits are straight out of the 50's. SO cute and flattering! 

No these are not for Jack. The little girls next door have birthdays coming up!

Ok, off to Target number 2. We pack Jack and his new truck into the car (I'm not above bribery, sue me) and head down Highway 111 to Palm Desert. Strike two. They don't have anything! Not like they're sold out. Like, they haven't put it out yet. Oh sleepy desert town. I buy soy latte number two, a playmobil fire engine for Jack (oh yeah, this was not my proudest parenting day), and head further down the road to Palm Springs. Jack fell asleep in the car, so I went in solo, while Nana waited with him in the car. Paydirt. Unfortunately it was almost 11am by now, and I encountered women coming down the aisle with carts overflowing with stuff. "It's all gone" I thought. "I should have come here first!" But no they had left me some crumbs: 

When I saw this shelf, I thought our little venture was doomed. 

I had no intention of buying bedding. But it was all so pretty and PERFECT for the pink palace/man cave/cotton candy club. AS soon as I do the big unveiling, I'm going to have a naming contest

This was what I came for. Little boxes for every little thing in my office. Perfect. 

Candy jars and planters. Too cute. I might plant some jasmine and put it on a high shelf. So pretty. 

I've been needing a watering can and gardening gloves, I swear. 

When I rolled my covered wagon back to the car, my mother laughed out loud. "Ok, let's go home". "Uhm. Ok, how about I take you and Jack home, and I head back to the La Quinta Target? I have a few more things to get." "There was anything left?" "Yes." 

So that's what I did. We drove back and I dropped them off. If I'd subjected Jack to one more Target SOMEONE would have called the authorities. Poor baby. He and nana were headed to the pool when I left, so it's not like I left him in the car with the window cracked. 

I drove back to the La Quinta Target, and as I walked in the female employee from our 8am run laughed when she saw me. "It's all out now!" Well, not all of it. This is where I became a part time Target employee. I hovered around a guy unloading boxes of boxes for a while, and when it started to get awkward for both of us, I asked if he'd just open the biggest box because I had a feeling the large milk crates I was looking for were in there. He happily obliged and I headed for lingerie.  On the way I spotted these. Perfecto:

I'm going to fill these with pictures of Jack

I don't know if I've mentioned it before I'm still wearing the same underwear from when I was pregnant with Jack. It's sad underwear. It has holes in it. It was cute when I got it, but now... Sad sad sad panties.  So thank you Liberty of London (Nipper Knapp thanks you too):

The pink panties have a little ruffle butt. Too cute!

I head back through the women's section just to see if I missed anything on the way out, and lo and behold there is my friend unpacking boxes in the accessories section:

I made myself useful and unwrapped some purses and flip flops. One of the stock girls was friendly and we were judging each bag as it came out. The other woman was eyeing me suspiciously. I don't blame her.

I didn't buy any though

I did buy these though. Cute right?

This was the only thing I saw that I wish I had bought. But I couldn't justify, nor did I have room in the car for chairs. Well I could have strapped Jack in his car seat to the top of the Prius National Lampoon Vacation style. But after the three Target visits, I figured I was pushing my luck. So I left them there for some other lucky girl to take home. 

$99 of pretty

What else? I bought Nipper Knapp one pair of boxers, but I'm not showing them here because, after last weeks romantic story about him making me coffee I don't want you ladies imagining him in his undies!


  1. i eyed all the stuff online when they had the big unveiling but it was already all sold out. and i'm po. and i don't know if they ship to france. LOVE the flip flops and the chair. i can't believe how much they're charging for the organizational boxes and milk crates! i wanted to buy a million dollars worth in the print of your gardening gloves.

    speaking of the fact that i have a dollar to my name, how much is the house on your block selling for? you know, because i live in LA, i have a job and i have fantastic credit...

  2. Poor Nip. I put a bag of donettes on the top of one of the shopping bags from Target and hand to god he never noticed a single item. The man is easy to please.