Thursday, March 25, 2010

cake fail

I am genetically predisposed to do too much. My mom went to law school  while working nights at the airport post office loading trucks, with a newborn, and a four year old at home. While she was doing that my dad was an elementary school principal by day, Phd candidate by night. He runs marathons. I have never undertaken anything nearly as ambitious as my parents did in their early years, or even now. Just listening to what they do in an average day makes me want to take a nap. My pursuits are limited to bathroom painting, mommy and me French class, and birthday cake baking. I don't finish most of these things, but I start them, usually all at once, because it's in my DNA to do so. Quelle domage.

But when I set out to make baby Jett's (Cleo's little sister) 1st birthday cake, I never imagined that I would be this big a failure. I killed two cakes in 12 hours. Jett and Cleo's parents are in a band, so I thought it'd be cute to make her cake a record. Old fashioned vinyl. The whole thing was Nipper's idea actually. We had just watched this show about the making of Saturday Night Fever, and when I saw the label for the album it brought me back to my childhood. Remember that little bull? I think I must have had kids album published by RSO, because I'm fairly sure my parents did not own Saturday Night Fever.

Monday night I made funfetti cake. Yum. unfortunately when I took it out of  the oven, the very center wasn't done and it fell. That's what I get for making box cake in a 14 inch cake pan. So Nipper and I were forced to eat it, warm, right out of the pan. Again, quelle domage. 

Tuesday morning, 8 hours to party time and I have no cake. Jack and I went to go to the store, but got sidetracked by Fiona. I had one box of dark chocolate cake, and one box of yellow butter cake in the cupboard. I thought, "Hey, I'll make a half and half cake, how creative!" HA. excuse my language, but the fucking thing fell apart taking it out of the pan. 

I was FORCED to eat as much of it as I could while throwing it in the trash and dialing Nipper to pick up Crumbs cupcakes for the party. Quelle horreur!!! It was delicious but two cakes in one day is my limit. I had even printed a cute "record label" for the top of it. Oh well. 

Dear Jett, I'm sorry you didn't have a proper cake for your first birthday. Last night when we sang Happy Birthday to you, you smiled so big, we sang it twice. I think you've forgiven me already. Hope so.

To see lots of things that never should have happened to something as nice as cake, check out cakewrecks. One of my all time favorite time wasters. 


  1. My birthday is December 23 and I like Red Velvet with cream cheese ...or chocolate with coconut ...or chocolate with mint chocolate ...or anything heath, oreo, reese's, snickers, toffee or butterfinger related.

  2. Now see I would have just called it a punk rock cake and brought it anyway. But then I wouldn't have had cupcakes!