Friday, August 27, 2010

double negative fantasy what?

so pretty, so soft, so totally impractical 

Last night, I was sitting on the couch pulling stitches out of one of the habotai silk throw pillows we have on our bed. Habotai silk is a nice idea on paper. It's soft, and not shiny, and it's cool to the touch. It's also thinner than a kleenex and if you plan to touch it, or you know put your face on it, it's going to tear in a million little places. So I'm pulling them apart to save the parts of the full silk backs, the zipper, and the quilting part, which I'm going to re-sew with some old sarong fabric. I know. I amaze even myself.

But back to last night. I'm pulling out the seams with my sewing scissors because I can't find my seam ripper, because I hid it the last time I was sewing something on the dining room table so Jack wouldn't cut himself, and now it's gone baby gone.

Nipper gets a phone call from our agent which is unusual at 9:20 at night, and he says, "I'll have to call her back in a sec, I'm doing a mock fantasy draft." Uhm... excuse me? What did he say? A "mock" "fantasy" draft. So it's like, he's not pretending to pick pretend players for his FAKE football team, he's PRETENDING to pretend to pick players for his fake football team. Ok. Just wanted to be clear about that.

Another thing that happened last night was that around 1:30 in the morning, Jack came into our room, stood on Nipper's side of the bed and said very loudly "I (something unintelligible) ALL BY MYSELF!" Then he crawled into the middle of the bed, slurped some water so loudly from a sippy cup that I thought  Micheal Winslow was in the room, then rolled over to my side and fell asleep with too many sets of elbows and knees pressing into all my parts. I tried to fall back to sleep, but the thought of what could he possibly have done all by himself in there, and the fact that he started patting me on the back in his sleep, made it the whole situation less than ideal for sleeping. I tried to go into his bed to read my book and then sleep, but that thing is as hard as a board, and prolly why he ends up in our bed every night.

Today I'm going to buy him (me) a feather bed, and make Nipper some fake chili and mock buffalo wings, in case he wants to do more pretend fake football fantasizing tonight.


  1. I can empathize. My husband has 5 of those dam fantasy football things. And it's disgusting how obsessed they become with them!

  2. that's hilarious!

    My husband is in IT. Last night he was discussing this program with one of his friends. It's called 'Cold Fushion'. I'm like Really? He looks at me all flabbergasted like he does not understand. I'm like: You IT dudes amaze me, you're all: IT is so cool, it might not be rocket science but dude, we can name it like rocket scientists!


    My husband's a geek. And I am allowed to make fun of that. As much as I want.