Sunday, November 14, 2010

oy vey

I can no longer lie to my child. Not due to any major changes in my moral compass. He's just too savvy. He catches everything and he never forgets. Sigh... We've had some good times, but now I've got lotsa splainin to do...

He had a rough week last week. Lots of tears. LOTS of whining. A whole slew of new pouting methods. It seems like he goes through stretches where he is the perfect child, sweet, and funny, and knows how to sleep. Only to be followed by a period of unrest so ugly you'd think he was mental. I can't wait for adolescence.

SO last week, bad week. We're trying everything, but he's caught up in the this wicked cycle of doom and gloom. I mention to him on the way to school that we should go for a walk to pick up leaves after school that day. The drive to school has a ton of these beautiful old deciduous trees, and it actually looks like autumn. He says ok. Nipper Knapp picks him up from school, and the rest of the day goes by, and then we're lying in his bed reading stories about to go to sleep, and he says "HEY! We didn't pick up leaves on a walk today!" Merde.

I suggest we go the next morning before school. I mean why not. He's up. I'm up. Why not at least do something constructive with our time. We set out towards his school. Pick the perfect stretch of road with tons of orange trees. We get out, we walk. We pick up leaves, and pine cones, and maple seed pods. We talk to a whole bunch of old people fitness walking, and one lady with a dog. We hold hands. We sing songs. He spots a spider web in a bush, and sings the itsy bitsy spider to it. It's magic. I'm thinking smugly "I just need to be more engaged and do fun stuff with him. OH, I'M SUCH A GOOD MOM."

Then we get in the car to drive to school. Nope, he's still the devil. He doesn't want to get in his car seat. He stretches forward in such an awkward position, it's like he's Bikram himself. When I tell him he needs to sit back in his seat, he smacks me, and shouts "NO". One second later in a voice from hell I find myself saying "JACK KNAPP, Santa is watching you!"

Bobsled to hell and we're all on it together.


  1. I love you guys.
    And I too have been known to invoke the wrath of Santa...

  2. yeah, I've totally used the Santa threat...sometimes it's the only thing a mom has :)

  3. Oy mama, that boy's got some spunk in him.

  4. Wow....imagine him as a teenager ;)