Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Oh my god! Is that my ass?!!!

My ass on our wedding day (my butt, not Nipper Knapp!)

Last night in a fit of love for his wife Nipper Knapp showed me a video he had taken clandestinely on his iphone over the weeked of my a bikini. He thought he was being nice. He thought he my butt looked great. Thus the video. Unfortunately, upon viewing, I did my best not to burst into tears and start googling liposuction. How did that happen? My ass is white, and flabby, and just, ICK! I'm so ashamed. Not only will I be in a burka by the pool in Palm Springs next weekend, but once I'm done with physical therapy, I'm going to start exercising again, for realz though. And I'm never eating again. (just kidding mom, hold your comments please) But maybe a few less In & Out burgers, and a few more salads. My brother who is visiting this week from Seattle said I should be happy my husband is secretly videotaping my butt and not someone else's. Nice. 

In the meantime, here is my recipe for "company's coming french toast". Nipper's mom made it the first time he took me home to meet his parents before we were married. Good little wifey that I am, I wanted to learn to make something that his mother makes that he loves. Mine has kind of become more of a bread pudding. YUM! So this isn't Meema's recipe, it's my modified version. I've never made it with chocolate croissants or that yummy chocolate sourdough from Zingermans, but I bet that'd be really yummy.

2 loafs of Texas toast or any thick cut white bread. If you can only find thin sliced, stack it three high in the pan instead of two high
2 sticks of butter 
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 tbsp cinnamon
1 tbsp vanilla
6 eggs
pinch of salt
1-1/2 cups of milk
Melt the butter and pour into the 9x13 pan
Mix the brown sugar and cinnamon
sprinkle that mixture of the butter
cut the bread and lay in the pan (the recipe says one layer, I usually do two layers, three if you have thin cut bread)
coat all sides of bread with the butter and sugar mixture (I do this with my hands as it's kind of a paste)
beat the eggs with salt, vanilla, and milk and pour over the bread
turn the bread once then refrigerate overnight
heat the over to 350, turn the bread once again before putting it in the oven
 and then turn the bread again after it's been in the over for 30 minutes
bake another 15 minutes until the edges are golden and the whole thing is fluffy and you can't wait to eat it!
The total baking time is about 45 minutes.

I find this is best served with lots and lots of crispy bacon.

Au revoir giant booty. Also au revoir french toast and bacon.


  1. Umm...let's be clear...I was videoing you pulling Jack in a wagon. I was walking behind you. I wasn't shooting a video of your hiney.

  2. I prefer mine with crispy turkey sausage and fruit salad. I make the original recipe version every year for a girls' day New Years brunch. I'm not allowed to ever change the recipe.

  3. I am getting gray hair...Does that make you feel better?


  4. I think if we get to see your ass in the wedding dress, we get to see your ass in the bikini-both look great.
    Let's vote here. Who else thinks we get to see the bikini butt picture? 99% are going to say "looking good." The other 1% is just jealous.

  5. my vote is "looking good." i havent even seen the picture, but i just know my vote like i know that ice cream is cold and yummy.

    and your brother is making a LOT of sense. it doesnt matter what ya look like as long as your husband is lookin!!!!

  6. This whole post is cuckoo. She looks fantastic in a bikini. It's the ONLY reason I married her.

  7. Hooray for our husbands loving our butts regardless of how we feel about them!! ;) P.s. Thanks for the recipe!

  8. Just remember, at your wedding, all our friends thought your 54 year aunt Wingate was a movie star. Elegant and lovely-you favor her-and always will. Good genes from both sides. Quit looking at magazines that have models who are 12 years old-they have NO ass and are barely out of diapers. You are a WOMAN-and one hot mama.