Heartbreak at 35,000 feet

SO I should have been writing little notes about this all week to help deal with my ever increasing anxiety, but I didn't. Mostly because I've been running around like a contestant on one of those game shows where they have to cram as many items in their grocery cart as they can before the buzzer. At one point this week, I thought, if I can get the laundry in the machine, the dishes done, my bag packed, Jack to sleep after feeding him something resembling dinner, and look at ALL of my mom's pictures from her trip to Scotland, Don Pardo will sing me to sleep. 


I should go back a minute. I'm getting ahead. A few months ago, Nipper Knapp and his writing partner, the delightful Andrew Newberg, were informed that two of their scripts had made it into the top 25 of the New York Television Festival Comedy Script Contest. Cool! We decided that he should probably go out, at least for the weekend, in case they won. Then we decided that maybe we should both go, and make it a fun grown ups weekend. Sans Jack. As in, me and Nipper Knapp alone in a big city for the first time since 2007. Sounds good, let's do it! 


Cut to last week, when an advanced schedule arrived in Nipper's email box. There were all kinds of official looking people, and talks, and panels, and mixey mixers, and hand shaking things that, we realized  maybe he and Andy should attend. So we changed Nipper's ticket so he could be in NYC for the whole festival. 


Our plan was for my mother to come stay with Jack at our house. She was going to be getting back from a trip to Scotland two days before, but said it would be fine, because she had planned to visit a buddhist nun at a monastery in Escondido, who was moving to France that very week. What? I know. That was really what she said. Which kind of makes her sound like a Wes Anderson/Angelica Houston type mom, which I guess she sort of is, only more kooky.  Ok, so Nana's coming. Mommy and Daddy are going away. No problem. 


Did I mention we have never left him alone? Except for one time on our Anniversary, we stayed in a hotel overnight in Palm Springs while he stayed at my moms. I don't know that he even noticed we were gone. Did I also mention that Nipper and I are the two softest people EVER? I know that lots of people leave their kids all the time. For work, for pleasure. But us Nipper Knapps, we're a tight group. You'll remember that we don't have jobs. So mostly are just together ALL THE TIME. 


We met a woman in the pool at that Palm Springs hotel, who was with her kids. She told us that she leaves her kids all the time. She said the only time she missed them was when she and her husband went to Bali for a month, when the youngest (who was only about a year old) was 6 months. Uhm, she couldn't even lift her head up on her own, and you left her for a month!!! My agent had to pry me out the house with a crow bar, and bribes, to go to an audition when Jack was 4 months old. And that was just across town. Ok, clearly, I judge. I just really like the kid.


So Nipper left Monday night. He was a little misty before he went, and I kept thinking "MAN UP", it's only a few days. Yeah, ok, whatever. I'm so callous. This morning, I said goodbye to Jack, kissed him too many times, smiled lots, so he wouldn't worry. I got into my car and SOBBED. I called Nipper, tried to leave a message. Called Sadie, tried to leave a message. But my messages were disasters. I cried on both of their voicemail's. OH GEEZ. Pull it together mama. God help me when this kid goes to school. 


I got this picture from my mom as I was sitting at the gate. She took him to the rosebowl pool. Looks like he's going to be just fine. Me on the other hand, I'll be the lady listening to Nico crying in seat 8A.