Forgive me

For I have no time to blog. I'm preparing to go (or not go) to NY for the NYTVF in a week and a half. Which by the way, if you are going to be in NYC Spet 21st or 22nd, you MUST come see our pilot. Tickets are free, but you should reserve now, by clicking right HERE. Jack is having a tough time getting used to preschool. He cried most of the morning before school this morning. Not big tears, but you know, lots of little "I'm sads", and "I'm going to cry". I can't tell how much of this is normal transition sad, and how much of it is, my sensitive child being just like his mama, and that's never going to change. 

My mother reminded me this morning that when I changed schools in the 3rd grade, and the lunchtime was 10 minutes shorter, I came home SOBBING, because I was too rushed and couldn't finish my lunch. I SOBBED every time she put me on the plane to boarding school. I called her three times a day SOBBING from San Francisco, when I went away to college. I did that for days, until my new roommate showed up and then I didn't call her again for weeks. Change is hard. I like to feather my nest and then stay in it. Apparently the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

 

Last night around 1am, Jack came into our room (this after a 9:30 wake-up shouting "mommy I NEED you!" from his own bed) and said very matter of factly "Mommy I was missing you, can you snuggle me?". SOB. Once again, he slept in our bed, and Nipper Knapp who hadn't come to bed yet, slept in Jack's bed. This can't be good. Am I mother who loves to much? Is there a support group for people like me?

Nipper Knapp and I are thinking if he is still having a rough time next week, maybe the week after, isn't the best time for both of us to go jetting off to NYC for the week. I'm kind of crushed over both options. I don't want to be away from him for that long. But it's work, and I don't want to miss the festival. Oh and also, I'd like to have a few days alone with my husband. Does that make me a bad mommy? Nipper says that he'll stay and I should go because he hates NY, and doesn't even want to go. But of course that doesn't make any sense. I should stay, he should go. Why must everything be so difficult. Working mother woe. Working parent woes. Working mommy and daddy who make tv shows together and love their kid more than their career even though it's what pays for legos, ice cream, and tree house woes.

In other news, I finished embroidering Sadie's 10th wedding anniversary pillowcase. I didn't make one for her husband because I ran out of time, which is pretty awesome. Maybe I can get it to him by next year. I've finished 4 out of 8 curtain panels for our bedroom and I go the fabric for the headboard in the mail yesterday. Oh and I bought a pair of MiH skinny jeans, so I don't look like a total square while I'm sobbing in line at Starbucks. So you know, the school thing's not a TOTAL loss.  

PRETTY! I'm just trying to get a fix...

Ok, so I'm kind of a Christmas junkie. I start listening to old timey Christmas music sometime mid-summer. I don't subject Nipper to it until mid-October, which is two months too soon for him. But it makes me happy in an immediate way. It makes me nostalgic and hopeful, and I don't care who knows it. I even made a Pandora station that only plays Ella Fitzgerald, Bing Crosby, Nat King Cole, and The Rat Pack singing Christmas carols. Pandora is kind of the greatest thing that ever happened to me (after Nipper and Jack and the soy gingerbread latte at Starbucks that also comes but once a year).

I was on Anthropologie this morning looking for those owl towels, so I could copy the embroidery pattern onto the towels I got at Ikea for Sadie (terrible, awful, cheap unethical, going to hell). I saw that they had their holiday stuff in. Yippee! I look forward to this stuff all year. I'm like an addict who only gets to get high one month out of the year. The other 11 months, I'm just sick, and trying to maintain. Also, I'm sure much to my mother's chagrin, none of this has anything to do with Jesus. Or not much at least. It's more about the feeling of it. The twinkly lights, the smell of the tree, and the cinnamon in everything, wrapping presents, giving presents, scotch tape. I once wrapped all of my friend Mike's presents for him one year, just because it made me happy. I'm more generous in spirit at Christmas time. I don't look at other people and sigh as much. It's powerful stuff.


So Anthropologie... I have a pretty great collection of ornaments, but no tree topper. Those angels seem too something or other for my taste, and those weird finial dealies are just uhm, too violent for my lovely tree. So I'm always looking for something clever to put up there each year. I keep thinking I'll just make a tin foil star like the kind you'd have made in elementary school.

Well, ladies and gentleman, I found this beautiful little nest at anthropologie, and had an Etta James AT LAST moment, until my eyes rolled over the price. THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY NINE DOLLARS! Did Barack Obama make it? Damn you to hell Anthropologie.

So you know what's coming right? I'm going to make one just like it. Now I wonder where I can buy silver floss like that. hmmm. Pictures coming "soon".