Barbie Astronaut Princess Pony get the f%#k out of here cake

Hattie's 2nd owl cupcakes and cake

Cleo's 2nd ladybug cake

Jack's 2nd garbage truck cake

Jack's 3rd R2D2 cake (before it launched itself off the counter and died)

Hattie's 3rd Minnie Mouse cake which was bigger than her. 

I make cakes. Not like Ace of cakes, cakes. Just homemade mom cakes. But they are themed, and sometimes a little bit fancy. Almost every cake I've made involves some kind of massive failure involving re-baking at 11pm the night before. Sometimes they involved all out cake suicide. Poor R2D2.


So when Sadie asked if I was up for making Hattie's birthday cake again this year, I was all "fo sho". And she was all "are you sure, because you're super pregnant, and anti-social, and you know..." and I was all "Puh-leeze, it's my pleasure!" Then I was all "so what kind of cake does her royal highness want?" And she was all "A Barbie Astronaut Princess Pony cake." 


"fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck"

At first I thought I'd try to make a standing rocket with some kind of Barbie princess theme, but figured the important part of the cake for a 4 year old girl was the princess not the rocket, regardless of what she says. SO... I made a flat rocket with a GIANT cake pan (14x18). The first one wouldn't come out the pan, so we were forced to eat big hunks of pink strawberry cake warm out of the pan while I googled how to get cake out of a pan. I settled on lining the pan with parchment. Genius. I will never make a cake without it again. 

I cut it into rocket shape, frosted it with strawberry icing, which is pretty much the worst tasting and smelling pink thing ever. Then I made two small dome shaped cakes (2 in case 1 was a disaster) and put one of those tacky doll body cake toppers that you'd expect to see in a trailer park in The Ozarks, but don't fret, I fancied her up. 


I piped more revolting strawberry frosting for her "dress", and gave her an astronaut "helmet", because you know, she's space walking. I also got her a fancy white pony who had his own "helmet" and a hot pink "space tether". 

I piped BASA (Barbie Aeronautics and Space Administration) onto the rocket, put the pony on a cloud of pink cotton candy, and called it a day. 

Jack's birthday is a month after the baby's due date. I'm sort of hoping that when I ask him what kind of cake he wants he says "sheet cake from the deli at Ralphs". A girl can dream. 

I used the Ryan Berkley pattern from Sublime Stitching 

Oh and I embroidered her this Miss Kitty and put it in a frame with her own ball of yarn, because I'm a sick sick person. Do you see why I haven't been writing? I'm sorry....

luck be a ladybug

When I was 5 I participated in a cake walk. Earlier tonight when I was starting to write this post, I typed "cake walk" into google, because when I was telling this story at a 2 year old's birthday party this weekend, the phrase "cake walk" elicited blank stares. I was shocked to find this to be the wikipedia entry for "cake walk" :

Cakewalk is a traditional African American form of music and dance which originated among slaves in the Southern United States. The form was originally known as the chalk line walk. The dance takes its name from competitions held on plantations prior to Emancipation, in which prizes, sometimes cake, were given for the best dancers.

Uhm, what? That has NOTHING to do with what I was talking about. Is this the common understanding of the term? What did I just say to those neighborhood parents? JESUS CHRIST!!! I read further, and way down at the bottom, there was this little footnote:

The term "cakewalk" is often used to indicate something that is very easy or effortless. Though the dance itself could be physically demanding, it was generally considered a fun, recreational pastime. The phrase "takes the cake" also comes from this practice. Along the lines of this "easy or effortless" meaning, there is the modern Cakewalk (carnival game) which requires no dancing skill at all to win.

OK! that's what I meant, carnival game. I think it was in a church parking lot or a public park. It was just a bunch of little kids walking in a circle, while music played. When the music stopped, you landED on a number, and that number was the cake you got. It went something like that. Well, I landed on the number 20, (my brain is backed up with all kinds of useless information like this, but I can't remember anything important whatsoever) and the cake I got was a ladybug cake. And that cake was round, and red, and had black licorice spots, and was the most beautiful thing my sheltered little eyes had ever laid eyes upon. I was beside myself. I WON THE LADYBUG CAKE!!! I WON THE LADYBUG CAKE!!! Two hands lifted as in prayer, I carried my beloved ladybug cake carefully back to our table. But somehow, one of my feet tangled with the other, and down I went, slow motion, John Woo style, knees crashing to the ground, ladybug cake overturning, and smashing to bits in the grass below. Sob... It seriously still makes me sad to think about it. The cakewalk ladies offered me another cake, but it was futile, there was no consolation.

Jack's friend Cleo turned two on Saturday and I decided that she was the perfect reason to shake off all that cakewalk sorrow and bring back the ladybug cake. I baked two, a pink, and a red, in case of some sort or ladybug cake curse. If one went down, we'd have a backup. I wasn't going to let Cleo experience cake grief at such a tender age. As I walked up the hill to the party, I was repeating in my head "DON'T drop the cake, DON'T drop the cake, DO NOT DROP IT!!!!" Internet, I have shaken the curse of the cakewalk once and for all. 

I've also included some photos of an owl cake and owl cupcakes that I baked for Jack's friend Hattie's 2nd birthday back in February. Hattie's mother, my dear friend Sadie, loves owls. Well, she loves them for Hattie. We always joke, that in ten years, Hattie is going to be like "mom, what was the deal with all those freakin owls? I HATE owls!!!" Sorry little Hoot.