someone get that lady a straight jacket

Peonies from Trader Joes. Perfect!

And then sometimes you run into Lisa from Smacksy when you're getting out of your car in South Pasadena and you are trying to cram a GIANT diaper bag, that you're already mad at yourself for bringing, when you're just going for a stupid walk, but what if the baby poops, or needs a change of clothes, or you know a hat. But really, you're going to walk for like 1/2 an hour, and you are 4 minutes from home, so you needed the suitcase? But there you are CRAMMING it into the bottom of the overpriced stroller you bought when you were pregnant with Jack, that you and Nipper Knapp HATE, but now it's like, you've committed and by god you're not going to spend one more penny on strollers, because this one DOES IT ALL!!! And you say hi, and then because you are embarrassed by the diaper bag, and the stroller, and the fact that you haven't spoken to a human being who wasn't related to you in weeks, you commence to verbally vomit on Smacksy about how Nipper is at a Target audition, but you want him to come home so you can go to the actual Target store for FIVE minutes, and isn't it stupid that you brought a diaper bag, and how your 10lb baby is killing your boobs, and oh you're just out for a walk. But you feel even weirder when you start talking so you try to shut up. But you feel like a freak because you think she's probably wondering why you are parking your car at the park, to go for a walk with your baby and your diaper bag, and you are SO HAPPY, she didn't walk by 5 minutes before to see you eating your In&Out burger in your car, like a criminal. So then you mention the In&out burger, but only in passing, and you wish you could shut up, but she's right there in front of you, A REAL PERSON, and a MOM no less! 

and Charlie sleeps through the whole thing...

You manage to shut up for long enough for her to say, "have a great walk", and pretend that you are behaving in a totally normal manner, only to run right into her and another mom 1/2 a block away. And when the mom politely says you look great for having had a baby 2 weeks before you say something about pacing around in circles in your house, which makes no sense at all, and probably she wonders if she should wrestle the stroller out of your hands, and call someone, but you know the walk is going to help, so you only slow down for a minute, and then you're off again. FITNESS! FRESH AIR! The jacarandas are in bloom! But you don't mention that. She also smiles politely because she's a mom, and realizes you are hormonal and insane, and she should let you pass. 


Later when you tell Jack that you saw Bob Rosenberg and his mom on the street, he says "Oh... you mean Action Bob?"


"yes, I saw Action Bob and his mom on my walk" like it was all no big deal...

Then later this happens, and you die of love

twice

and then this comes in the mail, and you think everything might be just fine...