ain't no thing but a chicken wing

I have an audition tomorrow where I'm supposed to wear an evening gown. I don't know about you, but I don't have a lot of those laying around. I was digging through my closet when I found a dress that I bought for a photo shoot years ago. It's a floor length Monique Lhullier oxblood leather, satin lined, and it's backless. It's gorgeous, but only if worn by someone with you know "a body". A few years ago I wore it to a halloween party as Jessica Rabbit. 


I put it on, because I don't know what the hell else I'm going to wear. I'm looking at my sad post baby nursey boobies in this thing. Just flats as pancakes, and I have a lightning bolt idea. I'll stuff it! So I go to my drawer and find some hot pink fleece slipper socks from target and I try to roll them up and put them UNDER my boobs. But you can totally see the socks out the sides of the dress. You know the place where my side cleavage is supposed to be. Sigh...


I wonder what I can get for this thing on ebay...